Broken
by meggh11
Summary: AU: Castle and Beckett meet, but in an unusual way - one of which neither of them want.
1. Chapter 1

_Just thought of this idea today. Let me know if you like it and if I should continue :]_

* * *

Kate lifts her good hand, feels around her nightstand, her fingers as her eyes. She hears the table vibrating underneath and if only she could make it stop. The medicine making it nearly impossible to lift her eyelids, she finally grabs her phone, opens them enough to press 'answer', and holds it to her ear.

"Hello," she says, still groggy.

"Good morning. My name is Rick and I am here to let you know that I will be stopping by later this afternoon to set up step one, the first meeting."

Kate sits up, rubs a hand over her eye, trying to not ruin the night-bandage on her forehead.

"I'm sorry, what?"

The man sounded flat. He wasn't annoyed, but Kate could tell he wasn't eager to continue.

"I think you might have the wrong - "

"Katherine Beckett. 30 years old. Car accident two weeks ago," he said confidently plain.

That was her.

"How -"

"They normally know when we call, give me a second . . ."

Kate can hear him flipping papers - she must be on speakerphone.

"Who is Jam Beckett - "

"_Jim_ Beckett?"

"If that says an I instead of an A, then yes. He signed the paper."

"What paper?"

He sighs.

"Here's the deal. I am to come to your apartment and be your set of hands until you're better. I'll be there though the cast phase and into the rehabilitation and then when you're good and ready to do things on your own, I leave."

"Sir, look," she says, exhausted and annoyed, "I know what your job is, but I honestly can't -"

"Your father paid which means I have to come anyway. I'll be there around 3. That gives you enough time to get out of your bed. But, if you need me to do anything, leave it until I get there."

"I don't think you can help with the things I need help with."

"I know. And trust me, I asked them to give you a female helper, but we had a call out and we're behind staff - it's volunteer work so not many people can just cut and run to help you guys, so I'll be there. Call a someone who can help you get dressed or whatever and then we can go from there."

Castle hangs up his phone. This is exactly what he wanted to do - go to some stranger's house on a Saturday afternoon to help her move around her apartment. Picking up his phone, he pulls up his publicist's text messages and sends a very sarcastic one about how much he loves this wonderful idea.

Castle stands to addressing his daughter in the kitchen.

"Hey, wonderful, amazing, sweet, kind, beautiful -"

"Dad, what do you want?"

Playing with the pen, leaning against the island where Alexis is eating her lunch, he dares not to look into her eyes to play up the guilt trip he was about to dish on her.

"I was wondering, if you're not doing anything today, if you could come with me on this med call..."

"Dad, that's your thing."

"Well, it's not _my_ thing, exactly. And I know, but the last one wrapped up early - he moved in with his sister - and they placed me on the list of the girl who just quit - so I have to help this woman and I don't think she is comfortable or okay with someone coming over to help her."

Alexis looks to her dad, seeing his hidden desperation in his eyes, and sighs.

"Fine. I'll come."

Slapping the table underneath him, Castle bellows, "Great! We're leaving at 2:15."

* * *

"Dad, really. Honestly - I can't - ugh - Dad."

"Katie, you're left arm is broken and so is your right leg. You need help."

"I don't need help."

"I think you do."

"Dad, I'm fine. Lanie has come over every day - "

"She called me. She needs to go back to work tomorrow - none of your neighbors want to help because they have never met you because you are never home -"

"Really, we're going to play that card now - "

"Look, I'm just worried. You were in a major car accident - you just got out of the hospital a week ago. You need help and I feel horrible that I can't be there every day. You know I'd move you here if I could - "

"I know, Dad. But, really? An aide? I'm not 80."

"No, but you're hurt. Katie, I love you, but I don't have time to discuss this now."

She hangs up with her persistent father and begins the tedious event of getting out of bed. Lanie wouldn't be coming over - and they practiced this before she left everyday - but it's just as hard as it was the first time. Her body would be sore for the coming months. Putting all her weight on her left foot was still painful, and her right foot wasn't an option. Grabbing the crutches next to her, she stood the left one up, making sure it didn't move, but couldn't put her arm on it because of the cast - and the pain. She swings her left foot to the side of the bed and Kate braces for the irritating soreness that is about to come. She uses her right arm to pull her right leg around the side of the bed and sticks it out. Using her right arm and her left leg, she positions herself into an upright stance, leaning against the right crutch.

Moving to her closet, Kate leans against the wall and pulls out her sports bra - the only thing that can fit around her enormous cast - a pair of sweatpants - baggy enough to fit around her right leg - and a baggy tank top.

After almost falling to the floor - twice - Kate spends most of her energy trying to make it to the bathroom. Using one hand, she brushes her hair - hopefully he knows how to put it in a ponytail. Leaning her hip into the counter, Kate manages to bush her teeth and wash her face. But, having forgotten the towel, she uses her shirt to dry. It's July - it's hot - it will dry itself.

Hobbling to the kitchen, she thinks she's getting a bowel of cereal, but getting to the box was good enough. Her destination was in sight - the couch. She throws the box as close as she could get it - she'll just kick it with something the rest of the way. Sitting down has now become a luxury after walking. Looking at the time - already an hour since that phone call - she realizes her medicine is wearing off and she will be miserable just in time for him to arrive. She didn't catch his name - he was speaking fast and monotone - as if he was reading off of a paper. He'd be here in an hour and Kate didn't plan to move until then. She drifts back to sleep after eating half a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch leaving the crumbs around her seat and her shirt.

* * *

Kate jumps awake when she hears a knock at her door. She should have thought about this before she sat down on the opposite side of the apartment.

_Why didn't she place herself in the chair by the door..._

"Come in!"

"It's locked!"

Damn.

"There's a key in the plant at the end of the hall!" she shouts.

Now that everyone knew where her key was she'd have to move it. Kate hears footsteps come back from the plant - a muffled conversation -

"There's five keys in and under the plant."

"Is there a gold one?"

"There are two."

Kate sighs. She's not walking to the door.

"Try them both!"

A couple of seconds pass and then he walks in.

Kate doesn't see him, she'd have to turn and her leg cast would dig into her hip.

"Go put that back," he says in the other direction.

"Who's here with you?"

"My daughter - she's seventeen, I thought she can help us."

He walks over to her finally allowing Kate to see his face.

"Wait a minute. What is - "

He sits down in the chair across from her.

"Richard Castle. The novelist - is a home aide?"

"It's for the publicity. Turns out my last book was a little controversial - "

"But it was so good!" she blurts out.

"So I have a fan?" Castle's tone changes, suddenly interested in the woman he would be helping.

Kate blushes a little and looks away from him.

"So, you know me. What should I call you?"

"Kate. Just Kate."

"Okay Kate. You can call me Rick - "

"Um, no. Sorry. I can't - I - sorry."

"Don't apologize. What do you want to call me?"

"I'll call you Castle. There's a reason, but I don't want to say."

"Okay. That's fine. This is my daughter, Alexis," he says, pulling his hand up to greet her as she walked into the apartment.

Looking around, Alexis takes it all in, and stands behind her father.

"Hey," the girl says.

Kate nods her head. It would be awkward like this for a while.

"Okay, well," Castle interrupts, rubbing his hands together, "should we get to know each other? Did you eat?"

He laughs as he discovers the cereal box next to her. Her foot is resting on the coffee table, causing her to slouch into the couch making the crumbs complete the couch potato vibe she has going on.

"Don't worry. It's all you could grab."

She smiles.

"My last guy broke both his arms and his leg. The amount of food that was thrown around his apartment - I get it."

Castle stands, his daughter follows. He's found that being forward quickly erases the tension in the room.

"Is there anything I should make to eat?"

"Whatever you find. My friend bought food but I'm not sure what."

Castle opens cabinets and drawers to familiarize himself with the kitchen.

"Okay, well it doesn't look like you have much. And you need to eat."

"I did eat."

"Cereal isn't going to last until tomorrow," he says, his head in the pantry.

Kate registers what he said. He's going to be here every day. Until she gets better this man will be seeing her every single day. She's going to have to make herself comfortable with him. She lifts her leg with her right arm and puts it to the floor. The thud causes Alexis to turn and look.

"Don't get up!"

"It's okay."

"Dad, I don't - "

"Alexis, honey, you're okay. She's not broken - " he laughs. Castle walks over to Kate who is determined to do this by herself, " - but she might need help doing this," he says.

"I've got it."

"Okay," he surrenders and backs up to let her do it.

He watches as she awkwardly moves to put her straight leg on the ground causing her left leg to fold underneath of her. Bending over to pick up the crutch, she manages to almost fall of the couch. Standing the crutch up, she puts all of her weight and tries to pull herself up - but doesn't take her soreness into consideration.

"Have you sat on your couch yet?"

She glares at him. No she hasn't. She's had no reason to leave her room. She didn't think about how deep it was and how strong she needed to be to get out of it.

He knows she hasn't, but still backs off.

With one last hope, Kate holds onto the crutch and tries to pull herself up, but the bottom padding slides off of the edge of the rug and the hardwood floor, causing it to jump. Castle, who has now moved to the back of the couch, grabs her good arm and keeps her from falling into the coffee table.

"Can I help you now,"

Silently, Kate surrenders.

"Put your right arm around my shoulder and I will put my arm around your waist. Okay?"

She agrees and they both get her to her feet. Kate smiles, but quickly stops - he doesn't need the satisfaction - but Alexis sees it.

"It looks like you got yourself dressed, so where do you want to go?"

"I'll sit at the kitchen stool while you . . . do whatever it is that you're doing."

"Okay,"

They hobble into the kitchen, Kate leaving her crutches by the couch, and he places her at the seat.

Castle comes around to the opposite side of her and leans on the table.

"So, I know it's going to be weird, but we're going to have to get to know each other. And what a better way to do that then to order pizza later and watch some movies."

It's the last thing Kate wants to do. She's going to ask him to get her medicine in a minute and that will knock her out.

"Well, I need to take my medication," she suggests, hoping it was a polite enough way to tell him to leave.

"Yes, I figured. While you sleep I'm going to go to the store and get some food – because I'm going to be eating some meals here for the time being – and I'll be back in time for you to wake up."

She tries to hide the disappointment on her face. Everyone is quiet. Alexis – uncomfortable because of her unsure place in this project – stands at the edge of the kitchen island.

"Do you go to school?"

A traditional question from Kate to break the silence. Castle's surprised that she's giving it a shot. He thought it would take a few more days before she started to give in.

"Yea. Yes. I'm a junior."

"The best year of your life," Kate says sarcastically.

Alexis laughs, feeling the tension lighten.

"It's a Saturday. I probably won't need much help today, if you want to go out with your friends . . ."

Alexis doesn't want to be rude, but she doesn't want to be here.

"No, I'm fine. They can wait."

"Okay, well your dad can get me into my room and after he gets my medicine, I can show you where my clothes are and you can get my pajamas for me. That way, later, I can dress myself and you don't have to stay all night. You can go home when I go to sleep."

Alexis smiles, "Okay. Thank you.

* * *

Their movie ends and even though it is still awkward, Kate knows that it's changing. They talked throughout dinner. He made jokes and she laughed. After, she watched him clean up and put away the rest of the pizza, he helped carry her to the couch. About 3/4 into the film, he fell asleep.

She throws a pillow across the room to wake him up.

Castle startles, unfolding his arms and registers what happened.

"You fell asleep on me," Kate says.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to."

"It's okay," she smiles.

The silence comes again, and with it, the awkwardness.

"It's late. Why don't you get me into my room, get my medication, and you can go."

He does as he's told. After standing a few times throughout the day, they are beginning to get this routine down. She settles down, sits on the bed, and waits for him to come back.

"Okay, take this now. I'll put this one next to your bed for tomorrow morning. I guess I'll come by around 2 when you will need another?"

"Making the schedule around my meds, I like it."

Kate smiles, but takes the cup of water and her pill.

"Okay, well. I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

_Do you like it? Should I continue? Thoughts?_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Okay, so maybe some setting may help with this story. It's not season 5 - it's back to season 1 personalities. (if it's the same hair cut, that's up to you until I come across it in a story - it's probably not). All we know so far is that Beckett has been in a car accident and has broken one leg and one arm. She's a bit banged up when we first start. She's released, but Jim has hired an aide for her because she can't make it around her apartment. That "aide" is Castle because his last book had really bad press/controversy (don't think Storm or Nikki Heat) and now, a year-ish later, people don't like him/care about him. His new publicist forces him to sign up to help out with this aide company, but he get's put on real work duty instead of just PR. It will all be explained, but for now, just try to work with me here :]_

_ - Meg_

* * *

"Sorry I'm late," he says, rushing to her, a tad out of breath.

"It's okay."

Castle ducks as a ball bounces close to his head on the wall next to him.

"But I see you kept yourself busy."

Kate glares at him. She's not angry, but she's extensively bored. She puts the ball down on the bed and sits up. She lifts her arm so he can fit his around her waist.

It's been three days and they already had a routine down. He will lift as she tries to stand – but ends up having him mostly carry her. Their first stop will be the bathroom and then the closet where he proceeds to listen to the type of clothes she wants – always sweat pants and some form of t-shirt. Then he will shut the closet door and turn around while she gets dressed. When they finish, he will take her to the kitchen and they will make something to eat while she sits on the stool. After, they are over to the couch to talk or watch tv. It's been three days and it seems like it's always been engrained into their head.

"You're not that late, just to let you know."

He only half hears her as they hobble to the bathroom. He almost trips over the stack of books that sprawled over the floor, looking to her in question.

"I tried to find something to do, and my foot didn't hurt as bad, so I thought I could stand."

They look back to the ground and then back at each other.

"I can't," she says, humorously.

Castle kicks the books away and gets them into the bathroom.

"Can you grab – "

He is already getting her toothbrush ready as she speaks and knows to get the towel from the closet when he's done.

Kate's managed to stay standing after he helps her – and waits for him to finish.

"Maybe today we can do something different?" she says, still not seeing his face.

He puts the toothpaste on the toothbrush before handing it to her – even though she can do that herself. He sets the soap near her and the towel and then waits.

"Is something going on?" she says, brushing her teeth.

He snaps back, sees her looking at him with confusion.

"Oh. Me? No."

She doesn't believe him and shows it in her expression before spitting into the sink.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"You don't have to lie to me."

He puts his arm around her again and brings her to the closet. She still pesters as he pulls down her sweater and the stretched out, old track sweats from the drawer across from him.

"Is it Alexis?"

He stops to look at her, caught off guard. Even though they've been near each other for three days, he still doesn't know her. But, sighing, he decides to tell her anyway.

"She's going to the movies in a few days, but today - I told her I was leaving and she was on the phone and said something about going to someone's house instead."

"Well maybe she is just going to the movies, but they are meeting up before?"

"Yeah . . . but wouldn't she tell me?"

"She's a sixteen year old girl," she says as she shuts her closet door, "but you know her. Do you think she's going to do anything stupid?"

"No. That's not Alexis."

"Yea, I didn't get that from her."

Kate pulls the t-shirt over her head, realizes that she needs to get her arm in before, and takes it off.

"But why would she lie to me?"

With her shirt on, she leans against the wall and puts her casted leg into her pants.

"Maybe you have to call her."

Castle nods, looking towards Kate's window of her bedroom.

"Okay, ready?"

He turns around to see a fully dressed Kate, hair still messy and one arm over her crutch standing in the doorway.

"Seems like you're getting the hang of it?"

She smiles. At least she thinks she is getting somewhere.

* * *

Grabbing his wallet, Castle is about to walk out the door, but is almost run over by Alexis just getting home from school.

"Woah, hey. How was your day?"

"Good. Are you about to see Kate?"

"Yeah."

"What's that?"

"A dvd. It's a movie she was talking about yesterday and I realized that I have it. I'm going to see if we can watch it."

"Remembering things now, are we?"

"Funny. It's just until this whole thing blows over and then she can be on her own."

"What thing? Her or your book…"

"Alexis," he says, giving her a look, "this was never my idea. I thought my book was going to be a hit. I didn't think I was going to be carrying around cripples."

"Watch it, Dad, you could start to like her."

"Oh, you're so funny," he says, mocking her.

Castle kisses Alexis on the forehead and leaves his apartment.

* * *

"Can we do something different today?" she begs from her seat on the couch.

"Like what," he says, looking up from his plate.

"I don't know. But I don't think I can watch another movie or sit on this couch for one more day."

"You liked the movie yesterday?"

Kate plays with the food on her plate, which is resting on her stomach.

"Well you can't leave yet. You're still on your medication. Once you're off we can try going somewhere."

Kate slams her head to the cushion behind her.

"I'm going crazy just sitting here. I go to bed, wait for you to get here and then we sit here until it's time for me to go to bed. I feel like a child."

"It won't be forever. You're going to heal."

"Not quick enough," she mutters.

"You never told me about your job."

"I know."

"Well, what do you do?"

"You know what I do. I'm a cop."

"Well you could elaborate a little."

"I'm a detective."

"So you find out...?"

"I'm a homicide detective," she says, answering his obvious question.

And, of course, he already knew that, but he doesn't let her know it.

"How did you get into an accident."

Kate's stomach jerks and drops. Tings go down her chest and into her fingers. A guilt she can't describe overcomes her. She can't bring herself to look up, so she simply stares at her plate."

"I was in a car accident."

He chuckles softly, unaware of her appearance, "I know. What happened?"

"A car spun out of control. Pinned me between the wall and his car."

"Where were you driving that there was a wall."

"I wasn't near a wall. I was pushed to a wall."

He realizes that it's not easy for her to talk about and continues to push food around his plate with his fork.

"Is there something more?" he says, knowingly bordering her willingness.

"Yes there is. Can you help me up? I want to go to the bathroom."

* * *

"Are you back so soon?" Martha asks from the kitchen table.

"Yes, mother."

"What happened?"

"What do you mean _what happened_?"

"Well the past five days you come home well after dinner has ended. Today, you're home by seven. What's up?"

"She was tired. She wanted to go to bed."

Martha doesn't look to her son, but continues to fiddle with the magazine beneath her hands.

"Where's Alexis."

"At the movies."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Richard, I'm sure."

He isn't satisfied, but sits down at the seat across from her.

"How did it go?"

"Normally. We didn't watch a movie. She took her medicine and wanted to go to bed."

Martha flips to the next page, only half glancing at the pictures below her.

"Did you do something wrong?"

"I didn't do anything different."

"Well, then let it go. She had an off day."

"There's nothing to let go, mother . . . but we did have a conversation about her accident. She didn't want to talk about it."

"Well I can imagine it doesn't come easy to her."

"Yes, I know. They never want to talk about it, but this was different."

"How?"

"She couldn't look at me. She looked almost ashamed."

Martha looked to her son, abandoning her magazine.

"Don't go putting your nose where it doesn't belong, Richard."

"Mother, please. I don't even want to be there. I was just interested because we had a long way to go until she went to bed."

Martha doesn't believe him and lets it show in a snarky glance.

"What?"

"Nothing," she answers sarcastically.

* * *

It was her first day off of her medication.

Yesterday, all Kate could think about was leaving the apartment. Going outside and smelling the air, seeing the sun in a shape other than the blurred vision through her curtains. But, today, that all sounded horrible. She had been weaned off it for the past couple of days, but still took some to fall asleep at night.

Rolling over in the bed, she saw the neon glow of the clock.

10:30.

She'd have to lay here for another hour or so. He was coming earlier today. She said he didn't have to, but he insisted. Secretly, she was glad. With Lanie back in the routine at work, she rarely visited. Normally it was everyday, then it was every other. Now it's just a phone call. Having Castle come over was the highlight of her day.

If it weren't for the pain, she would take notice to the increasingly irritating itch on the top of her bad foot. But, was making itself more known as her extensive bed rest became too much. Reaching under the base of her mattress, Kate grabs a hanger that she managed to break into a line so she can scratch her foot.

An immense amount of relief comes to her as she itches it, but it's temporary, because pain shoots down from her knee.

Rolling over on her side, she counts to ten and breathes as she tries to let it pass. Being teased with two weeks of painless bliss was making it worse.

* * *

Castle knew what was happening. The first day off of the medication is the worst, and the next day is not as bad. It lessens as each day passes.

"Kate, I can always call and see if you can get more medication."

With her eyes closed, jaw clenched, she holds a hand up to say no.

"I think you're going to want it."

"You said first day is the worst, right?"

He nods.

"Well then tomorrow won't be as bad."

"But it will not be good either."

"Castle. If I get more medication, then you can't take me outside. I want to get out and do something."

He knows the feeling. Sitting in the same chair every day was driving him crazy as well. With other patients, he could at least get stories out of them. Kate was different. She didn't say anything more than she needed to.

"Okay, well. You have one pill left. I'm going to let you take it. You can choose either now or when you go to bed, although the latter might be more useful."

She shakes her head and slouches deeper into the couch. He stands to go into the kitchen.

"You might need it. I have a surprise tomorrow."

* * *

_Thoughts? _

_These chapters feel a bit rocky to me because I'm just trying to get plot out. I'm trying to get them somewhere - the next one will be better. _


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: I am loving the response to this story! I see a few new faces from the others, so let me re-say this quickly. I do read every single review, but because I am always on the go, it's hard for me to respond on this site. That doesn't mean to stop reviewing :] I see them all and I do take everything into mind - suggestions, where to go, where not to go - so put your opinion there! But, if you want a direct answer you can find me on twitter ( meggh11) or tumblr - stillcatchingupDOTtumblrDOTc om._

_And a side note: this story might begin to need a 'trigger warning' before it's chapters - my stories tend to go someway like that - and I know this specific one would have been a 'trigger warning' for me a few months ago. So, read with your own caution._

* * *

With her hands over her face, Kate listens as she's carried downstairs. With strict instructions to never let her hands slip away, she holds on with her right arm around his shoulder. If she peeks, they turn around. As he walks her cast scratches her nose with its annoyance wrapping around her hand. She knows they had left her apartment and were now in an elevator. She offered to walk – hobble - but he said no. Her leg, with a cast up to her thigh, is sticking straight out and she laughs as he tries to not hit anything with it. She hears the ding that allows them into the lobby. He thanks someone as they exit. A few more steps and she can feel the change of temperature, the cool air from the lobby quickly receding. A smile graces her face as she realizes what's coming.

She's outside. She hears the birds and the cars. As they break away from the awning of the building, she feels the sun beneath her shirt. Without opening her eyes, she spaces her fingers just to see the light push through her eyelids.

Two weeks of solitude inside her apartment. Two weeks of only remembering the outside as the place of her accident.

They stop as he approaches the road – assumingly. A breeze gushes by them, pushing her hair in her face. Moving her hand, and hearing a tiny protest, she visibly keeps her eyes closed as she pushes her hair away from her face. She feels him put his foot out, but step back. He readjusts her in his arms, picking her up a little more.

Then they cross the street, Kate unaware of where they were going, but _going _was all that mattered. She hears his feet scuffle on the ground when they reach the sidewalk. She can imagine people are looking. She in her holed sweats – because they were the only ones that fit – and being carried by Richard Castle.

But maybe no one noticed him. It's been a year since he was publicly humiliated for not realizing how hurtful his book became to be.

They stop, and he thanks someone again. She hears a noise, as if someone is opening a gate.

"Are we at the park?"

"Are we?" he replied.

He walks a little further. Kate hears children in the background, and a swing.

She feels the sun leave her face as he continues, her hands still at her eyes.

He settles her at bench, sideways so her leg can stretch. Sitting behind her, he becomes her wall.

"You can open them now."  
Kate releases her hands to see that they are at the park, under a group of trees on a bench, away from the playground. A trail is in front of them, and a few people are walking.

She smiles and sees him smiling back.

"We're outside,"

"We are," she responds, not being able to hide the happiness in her face.

* * *

They sat for a while, Castle thanking everything that he could think of that it had not rained today. He said he had a surprise, but he really wouldn't if the weather chose to not agree with him. Usually his surprises with the patients were simple – their favorite meal or calling their best friend. He normally did one with each, to make his ending report seem better, but this time it was different. He felt different. Looking down at her face as she scans the park, looking at everything once again, he knew that he did this just to see her smile. He wants her to be happy. He knew she had been through more than she was giving him, and he wanted her to have a break, if just for one day.

"You're going to have to think of something better for tomorrow," she says, jokingly.

"What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know. After being in the house for two weeks, it probably seems like I'm in heaven right about now."

He gleams forward, his arm around the side of the bench – her head leaning to the side of it.

Castle sees her hand go to her knee and knows that it's acting up. He told her it was just healing –and it was – but he wished it didn't have to be so painful for her.

They were friends now – spending every day together, sharing stories, movies – laughing. He thinks about what she would like for dinner instead of just making something he will enjoy. When they are watching tv, he first asks if she has anything she wants to watch before going straight to his channels.

He didn't expect it, to have this bond after two weeks. To be able to walk in and know how she's feeling from the atmosphere in the apartment; walking into her bedroom and seeing her waiting for him. He realizes that it's his favorite part of the day.

Kate moves underneath of his arm, pulling herself more upright.

"Are you comfortable?"

"As comfortable as I can be."

She tilts her head to see his face and laughs.

"I'm very happy, Castle."

He smiles and breaks their glance by looking forward.

* * *

"Are you ready?" he says, nudging her arm.

"Do we have to go just yet?"

"Well, we're almost the last ones here. And I have to order dinner."

"Order?"

"Yeah, I'm not cooking tonight,"

"I guess we can go soon."

"Well, I would imagine, because this wasn't all of your surprise."

"It's not?"

"Nope."

He wasn't going to make it a surprise, but he couldn't help it, not when she's so happy already.

"Just let me know when you're ready."

"Five more minutes, and then we can go."

* * *

Five minutes turn to ten. And ten turn to twenty. The sun was already setting and she's beginning to drift off under the trees with the extra shade. Castle looks down in response to the increasing weight on his arm and sees her eyes closing.

"Maybe we should go upstairs?"

She lifts awake and takes in her surroundings.

"Yeah, maybe we should."

He stands, stretches out his legs as Kate grabs a hold of the bench to keep her upright.

He puts his arm under her knees – one too straight, the other willing to bend. As he lifts, his other arm cradles her back.  
Kate puts her arm around his back to help him as he pushes her up.

"Ready?" he asks.

She nods.

They retrace their steps, but this time she can see them. They make it to the lobby, and the elevator, back to her apartment.

She's lowered to the couch, allowing Castle to grab the take-out menus. When he has them, he comes back and sits in the chair that was determined to be his.

"I thought you had another surprise?"

"I do. But can we order first?"

She nods, not letting him see that she felt like school child, begging for her extra piece of candy.

* * *

After they order, Castle sits back down, playing with her. He knows that she's curious, but is too stubborn to ask again. He plays with his hands, straightens his pants – looks out the window. Stalling.

She catches on and doesn't look to him. Kate slides her leg to the couch and slouches down. She grabs a piece of her hair and begins a small braid. Two could play at this game.

He sees her, catches on to it as well, and stands. Castle moves to behind the island – a place where she hasn't seen all day, and grabs a black boot.

Carefully moving her eyes to watch him, she turns her body when he comes back with the new shoe.

"What is that?"

"This? This is a boot."

"What?"

"This will help you walk with your crutch. Once you begin to heal, it will become easier. But, because your entire leg is casted, it might not work on it's own. But it gives your foot a stability that you're currently lacking."

She stares at it, absorbing its possibilities. Kate smiles and says thank you – the proper thing to do when someone gives you something.

He insists that she tries it on, and she does.

She asks where he got it, and he says that all patients with broken or hurt legs get one – if they are in a cast – so he stopped to get it today, with the permission of her doctor.

"Now, don't do anything stupid. They told me how to use these things and you're not ready to put weight on your foot. And you can't try to stand without me here."

She nods, accepting his rules, and takes the boot off.

"Thank you, really."

* * *

After they finish eating, he takes her to her room. Their evening routine is similar to the morning – just backwards.

He takes her to the closet, looking for her clothes, and when he finds them, he leaves her. But instead of waiting, he remakes her bed and pulls back at the heading so he can put her in it.

When she's finished, Castle hobbles with her to the bathroom – even though he can carry her, it's better for her to at least get a sense of walking and putting action into her muscles.

She brushes her teeth and washes her face as he sits at the tub next to her. Every once in a while when she starts to tip, he grabs her hip or pushes her the opposite direction.

When she finishes, they hobble to her bed, he sits her down – makes sure she has everything – and says goodbye.

When Kate hears the door shut, she sinks into her bed. Her one knee bent, she pushes her hair back with her good hand. She lets out a breath to hold back her building panic. Her hands begin to shake and sweat with her adrenaline beginning to rush. Tears threaten, but don't make themselves present – they never do. She reaches to turn out the light, but sudden fear stops her. Reaching for her kindle in the side dresser drawer, she opens the page to her last stopping point. Her heart starts to race faster. Unable to focus, she puts it down and goes for plan B. She picks the last song she can remember and thinks of the first lyric. After taking classes in school, she picked up French pretty easily. She translates the song line by line until her adrenaline drops. Her hands eventually stop and her heart climbs down to a normal point. Her chest lowers as she lets out paced breaths. Rubbing her face, thinking that it's all idiotic and unable to understand the rationality behind it, she becomes silently angry with herself. Picking up her kindle again, she reads until fatigue takes over.

* * *

_Thoughts? Things will be answered soon. With this ending part, I know exactly where I'm going, but if you have other suggestions, send them my way :]_


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you for the response! I know this story strays - a lot - from our form of Castle and Beckett. I hope you follow along with me. _

_*Trigger warning below. _

* * *

For reasons unknown, Kate tried to cancel her day with Castle. She needed him to come over to simply get her out of her bed, but she couldn't see him today. Hobbling didn't work since the top of her cast began to dig into her upper thigh, right below her hipbone. And having her arm immovable made it even more difficult.

Kate stared at her cell phone for a bit, unlocking it and watching it lock again, the little noise that signals its use becoming etched into her brain. Kate moves in her bed, bringing her back to the headboard. He sounded weird on the phone – confused about why she would cancel their day. He insisted he'd come over just for a moment to get her to the couch. She said no. She had a friend coming over. But she didn't. And he tried to talk her out of it. She sensed concern in his voice – something she did playfully mention. He pestered her. Continued to insist that she can't stay in bed until tomorrow. That she would make herself worse if she tried to get to the kitchen herself.

They agreed on a time. He would come by later tonight for dinner, giving Kate enough time without him.

Scrolling through her phone, she tried to find anyone who might not be busy on a Wednesday. Of course her first thought was Lanie. But she has a job and Kate can't make people answer her every need just because she was in an accident. But she _was_ in an accident.

Just this once, Kate dials her number and hopes that a guilt trip will be enough. Lanie answers, and after a moment of pestering from Kate, she agrees to help her. Lanie knew that her friend was out of luck, sitting in her bed with nothing else to do. Because it was still early in the day, Lanie called in sick and promised that she would be back tomorrow.

* * *

"Where is he today?" Lanie asks.

"I don't know. Probably with his daughter or something."

"It's noon on a Wednesday, she's in school."

"I don't know, Lanie. I called him this morning."

Lanie gave her a look that could only be read as sass. They ordered pizza and put in a movie – something that Kate was ever so tired of, but it was the only thing they could really do.

"Is he helping?"

"Yea, well, I mean, he gets me here and there. He makes food. He does the things that I can't."

"Is he cute?"

Her words struck Kate. It hurt. Seconds went unnoticed. Kate quickly answered a nonchalant response leaving her friend to go on eating her food, never looking over. She knew what happened – few did. But Lanie, of course, understood. But the funny thing about harassment – when it comes from strangers – is that it is never taken as seriously as it should. Kate understands that she's having a normal conversation. But the veiled sexual undertone to the sentence brings her back to the uncomfortable, awkward, painful spurs that she once experienced.

"What have you two been doing?"

"Can we change the topic?"

"Okay, don't get all up on me. You're the one that called me over."

"Sorry, I just want to talk about something else."

A pause hung in their air, neither knowing what to say about the topic they were dancing around.

"Are you okay?" Lanie asked, looking over – subtly checking on Kate.

"Yea, I'm fine."

"Can we talk about it?"

"About what?"

"Kate, you know _about what_."

"I don't want to."

"Okay, fine. But you might want to go see someone."

"Lanie. I told you. I'm fine. He's gone. I'm healing," she pleas, "…in more ways than one!" Kate laughs, trying to bring their chat back to a lighter level. She only briefly mentions the topic that her friend wants to discuss. And it's enough.

Lanie smiles, but she doesn't believe her friend. She doesn't understand it; she can't. Before they can finish, a silence pulls them into the film. Kate didn't know the movie, and she wasn't paying attention to it either. An hour and forty minutes each day with a different story was beginning to grow tiresome. Her cast was making her very uncomfortable. It itched and it was particularly noticeable these past few hours. She finished her pizza and had to go to the bathroom, but the effort that it took to get to the bathroom made it bearable to wait as long as she could. Lanie was leaning into the other couch, her head between two upright cushions.

Kate felt bad for ignoring her friend. She knew that she just wanted to help. And she was probably right. But Kate knew that if she went to a therapist – or a meeting of some sort – then it would be real. Right now it was something in the past. Something that crept up when she was alone to remind her of how awful her thoughts can be. Guilt and shame mixed together with anger and questions of how inappropriate was he and how much she misunderstood filled her mind constantly. Unsure about how much she interpreted the wrong way. Hearing him beg to talk to her in the other room. Sitting on the hospital bed hearing him scream. Hearing him say that the accident was really an accident and nothing more. But it was. And part of Kate understood that. She knew that it was an accident. But part of her could not get the feeling of his hand out of her mind. His fingers etched into her arm; his other threatening to generate force.

Kate moves her stretched out leg on the table causing a thud pulling Lanie's focus back to the living room. But she only smiles and looks back to the screen. Kate keeps her face the same. Hiding everything is easier than breaking down in front of her friends. Lanie knew what she was doing, but Kate begged her to keep as much as she could from anyone. Calling her every night to help her get to sleep was weak, Kate thought. It was part of the reason that all of this was able to go on for so long. It was a break in her wall that she needed to fix.

* * *

The movie ended, and Kate fell asleep before it was over, only to be reawakened by Lanie.

"You're friend is here," she said with a suggestive smile.

Kate sat up, her arms behind her pushing her up.

"Hey,"

"Hey," Castle said, walking into the room.

"Did you already eat?"

"No – what time is it?"

"You slept through a second movie, Kate. It's okay. So did I."

"I have to go to the bathroom."

Kate sat up, and before Lanie could come over, Castle was already at her side, his arm under her shoulder. Lanie saw as the duo stumbled to the hallway, he got her to the counter, and shut the door. Lanie watched as he walked into the living room, leaving her privacy, and waited for her to be done. With the sound of a toilet flushing, and a sink running, he turns the corner and rewinds his earlier actions.

"Do you want to go to the couch or the island?"

"The island, since you're going to cook."

He places her in her seat and gets her a drink of water.

"Are you staying for dinner? " he says, glancing towards Lanie.

"Oh. No. I have to get back. I'm going to swing by and pick up some work before heading in tomorrow."

Castle turns around, not knowing the woman well enough to force a goodbye.

"I'd get up, but – "

"No, stay," Lanie insists.

Kate holds up her good hand, signaling a goodbye, and Lanie gives her a suggestive smile before walking out the door.

Kate closes her eyes, forcing it to leave – swallowing the heat coming from the inside of her chest and radiating to her arms.

"What are we having tonight?" she chokes out.

"I was thinking chicken, is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's perfect."

Kate's door opens again, with Lanie coming back in.

"I forgot my phone."

Kate smiles as Lanie walks to the living room. She goes to the couch and bends down. Putting her purse on the cushion, and watching Castle in the kitchen, she quickly places her phone inside the sofa.

"Damn."

"Castle, sorry. Can you go help her?"

Castle puts down his pan, "Of course."

Lanie has moved to the opposite couch now, hunched over and close to the floor.

"I think I put it down here."

"Under the couch? What were you two doing?" he laughs, but jerks down when she pushes on his shoulder.

"If you do anything to hurt her or to make her uncomfortable, I will find you," Lanie whispers just loud enough for him to hear. The rest was implied when she looked at him.

Surprised, a wide-eyed Castle shakes his head.

"Found it," she says, louder.

"Good." Kate responds, still at the island.

* * *

_Thoughts?_


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry that this chapter took so long. As we get more into the meatier part of the story, it does become a little harder for me to revisit some of Kate's past - her past in this story, that is. Let me know what you think :] I will try to get the next one up sooner. _

* * *

Kate stares at the boot sitting at the foot of the bed. It's here. Her one ticket to walking is sitting right across from her. But she's not at that point yet. Her doctor said to give it a few more weeks before she puts any pressure on her leg.

But her arm was feeling better? And her leg didn't bother her.

Of course, when she mentioned it to Castle, he said no.

_But it would only be around the house._

It didn't matter. She wasn't allowed to put weight on her foot.

Kate fiddled with the velcro, pulling it apart and putting it together again. She looks at the clock.

1:37.

Castle would be here by two. Maybe she could just try it?

_No. _

He said no and he knows more about injuries than she does.

Right?

But it was right there. Staring at her. Calling her to put it on. Try it out. Walk.

Walk.

Kate hadn't walked on her two feet in over three months. The last steps she remembered taking were right out of this front door. Grabbing keys, running down the hall and into her unit.

Moments that she would do anything to feel again: the weight underneath the pads of her feet.

More like the feeling of getting to one place or another without arms underneath her shoulders or hands around her waist.

She looks at the black boot one more time.

It's larger. It would come up to her knee. It would hold her. And she could walk around her room. Nothing more than that.

_Really._

Kate puts her hands around her cast and pulls her leg up to her bed. She second-guesses her plan when she remembers how high her cast does come up.

But to _walk. _

Quickly, before she can back out, she puts her foot inside the boot and straps it tight. Patting it, securing it, Kate swings her foot – with the help of her hands once more – around the side of the bed.

It's firm on the floor. She can wiggle her toes – her foot – beneath her, but nothing more. Kate grabs the crutches from the side dresser, puts them under her arms, and begins to walk a little. Feeling the extra weight of the boot, she tries, hard, to extend her thigh – bringing her leg out in front of her.

And it happens.

The foot goes in front of her body – just like that. Just like as if she didn't have a cast. Like there was no accident.  
Freedom washes over her. A smile brushes across her face and a hand pushes hair over her head.

A new confidence, Kate straightens her back and tries once more. Hopping a little forward – to not put extra weight on her leg – she repeats her actions.

It moves.

Her entire leg – her casted leg – moves again.

One simple action she took for granted each day of her life just happened once more.

She can walk by herself – with the crutches, and the boot.

Adrenaline pumps through her body, giving her energy that she only once had.

_Walking._

Moving the crutches a little forward, she puts her leg in front again, but this time, puts weight on it.

It should go fine.

Until she feels her body weight underneath her broken tibia and fibula. Her lower leg surges pain into her thigh and up her body.  
Quickly, to remove the pain from her leg, she puts her weight back down on her left leg – but it was still in front of her and the crutches behind her. Too far from her bed, Kate reaches for it, but misses. The crutches slide. She stumbles, putting weight on her injured foot again. But, out of instinct, she retracts and shifts her body weight causing her to slip more. Grabbing on to the end table, the doily slides with her, bringing the lamp crashing down as she falls to the floor.

"Kate!"

She hears the front door swing open, footsteps running towards her bedroom.

"Kate?"

She rolls over a little, trying to sit up, but also avoiding the glass surrounding her. Her hand is cut, a little to dramatic for her previous expectations, and she hisses at the pain still radiating through her leg.

"Kate? Kate! Are you okay?"

Castle leans down, a hand coming around her back to help her sit up. He tries to kneel beside her, but the glass cracks under his feet and he squats next to her.

"What were you – you put the boot on? I told you to wait!"

"I know. I know and I'm sorry, but I needed to do – something. Anything. I wanted to walk again."

"And you will," he says, his arms under her shoulders, "but you had a really bad break and you're going to take time to heal. Longer if you don't stop doing this."

With an unspoken agreement, they both stand up, Kate putting most of her weight on Castle's arms.

She sits on the bed and lets him pick up her leg and put it beside him.

"Can I take this off?"

She shakes her head, looking like a student who was caught.

"Where did you want to go? I can take you."

"I didn't want to go anywhere. I just wanted to go."

"Well, you stay here – please – and I'll start to clean this up."

* * *

"He's in the other room."

"Okay, but Kate. You can't ignore him forever."

Kate smirked into the phone. She knew her friend was right. And she wasn't ignoring him, exactly. He was here. She was letting him walk around the apartment. And she liked having him around. But when he carried her to the park – and she remembered what it felt like, having someone not say things to you because they are trying to own you.

Kate winced. She couldn't.

She wouldn't go there. Not now.

"Okay, well what happened after he cleaned up the lamp?"

"He carried me into the living room."

"Why couldn't you walk?"

"Because I fell on my leg. He wanted to carry me. Lanie, it makes sense."

"Okay. Fine. I like him. And I think you do too. But Kate. This isn't going to change itself overnight."

"Lanie, I don't want to talk about it."

"Kate, one day you will need to talk about it regardless of if you want to or not. Things are not going to snap back into place. You were handed shitty cards. You can't give them back, but you can play them any way you choose."

Kate hung up with her friend. She fell three days ago, but her leg was still sore. It was nothing compared to when she first came home, but she wasn't used to feeling it underneath her cast.

She heard him, walking around her kitchen making lunch. He had come earlier today because he had to drop Alexis off somewhere and her house was closer than his loft. But she asked to stay in her room a while longer after she got dressed. Kate felt strange. He was a friend now – after three months of seeing each other every day. He was a good friend. One she had soon learned to confide in about the insecurities she faced over still not being able to walk.

He had brought her to the doctor a couple times and eventually sat in on her appointments. Their motions were second nature to them. Helping her into the chair in the doctor's office. Pulling her leg up for her. Holding her crutches. Even though they didn't go out often, they had a system. The doctor hadn't given Kate the news she needed – that she would be getting her cast off next visit – instead, she had another month added to her duration. Devastated – and deservingly dramatic – Kate was silent the rest of the way home. Castle saw that she wasn't feeling good after the visit. He knew she wanted the cast off. And he knew that that's what he originally wanted as well. To be done with this case and back to writing. But, now that he had gotten to know her, he didn't want it. The day she fell, the day he thought she was going to re-break her bones, part of him felt joy. And then most of him felt guilty for wanting to cause her more pain. But if she needed him even longer, then he had an excuse to see her.

Castle now moved around her kitchen putting together a quick lunch. He had plans, and she would abide by them, but he didn't know if she would like them. She had been in the house too long. And he was beginning to see how it affected her. Things became dramatic. Crying was ensuing over things that didn't deserve emotion. Being in one house – stationary – and watching television and reading books were beginning to take a toll on her sanity.

"Kate," Castle said, focusing on the two plates he had in his hands, "I think we're going to go somewhere today."

Turning the corner, he saw her face perked up, looking at him.

"I have to get some things for your place, so I think you're going to come with me."

Maybe if he said it as a requirement she would listen.

"Where are we going?" she says, biting her sandwich and seemingly accepting his plans.

"I was going to take the car – I brought it with me – and we were going to go to a grocery store outside the city."

"So you had this planned…"

"Sorta, yeah."

Kate smiled, looked back to her food, and continued to eat.

"So…is this a yes?"

"Well, what other choice do I have? You're leaving."

He smiles at her, letting it sink in that she does need him still.

* * *

They get to the store. An hour-long car ride – Kate in the back, her leg stretched out, listening to Castle's music on the radio. Looking out the window and having the sunroof open to see the sky, the afternoon sun shining. They didn't talk much, especially because they couldn't see each other. But Kate liked the low music, the warmth. Eventually she closed her eyes and soaked it in. Drifted away. Enjoyed the outside.

Her crutches were in the trunk, and when they reached the store, Castle got them out, but said she wouldn't need them. Instead, he pulled something else out from the trunk and brought it around with him.

"You got me a wheelchair?"

"Before you say no, it's easier. People might look at you, yes, but less than they would if you were hobbling on my waist the entire time."

She thinks about it and eventually agrees. Castle helps her into the chair and opens the bracket for her leg. It sticks straight out, and he's worried she'll hurt herself if he runs into something – but he reassured his mind by thinking about how many times he has pushed a patient in this. And that's what she was. A patient.

They go through the isles. Kate holding a basket on her lap and Castle putting things in it, sporadically stopping at a cart by the service desk which they asked to keep there. Kate was having fun. She put things they didn't need in her basket and he pretended not to notice. He would joke with her and leave her in the isle – the side wheels being immovable by her one arm. When she would try to move the wheels with both of her arms, he would return to her – not wanting her to hurt her arm more.

They went in and out of the aisles. Kate was excited. She hadn't been to a grocery store in a while. She hadn't been anywhere in a while.

When they reached the cereal aisle, Castle made sure to bypass the old woman bending over, trying to read a label on a shelf. But, when he passes, the woman reaches to pick up a box of Cheerios and knocks over even more – still not getting the one she wanted.

"Here, let me help you."

Castle parks Kate and turns her to the side so she's out of the way. Facing him, she sees all the cereal boxes sprawled across the floor.

Castle runs around, picking them up quickly before someone else comes through. Kate laughs as he knocks over the pile in his hands, spilling them on the floor again.

The old woman, stepping around him with her cane, tries to help, but mostly walks around his crawling body.

"Thank you so much," she says when he's back to his feet, " I would have had to leave it on the floor."

"It's no problem at all," Castle says, putting the last box back on the shelf, "which one did you need."

"I need a Cheerio box, but I can't see which one is the one in this coupon."

Castle takes the paper from her hands and reads the fine print.

She can have any box. Poor woman thought she needed a specific one and knocked them to the floor. Instead of mentioning it to her, Castle gets on his tiptoes and pulls down a "special" box that is exactly the one she needs in the coupon.

"Thank you! I wonder why they put the ones in this ad so high up?"

"It's so people like me can meet people like you."

The woman smiles at him, and walks around with her box. Looking at Kate, she says, "And what happened here? Young people - getting into trouble - Well, you have a good one here, if you don't mind me saying. I think you should let him stick around."  
Kate smiles, looking at her hands. The woman pats her on the shoulder and continues her way down the aisle.

Silence befalls them, and Castle, out of humor, puts a box of Cheerios in the basket.

* * *

They leave the store, their bags filling the trunk, and Kate in a similar state that she was in on the way over. Instead of sitting behind him, though, now she is sitting behind the passenger's seat. She can see him. His hair a little too long. His collar perfectly bent near the nape of his neck. He reaches a hand and straightens the seat belt that was inching off his shoulder.

She likes him around. But the feeling of comfort and security was battling the fear. The anxieties of letting anyone else protect her but herself. She let that happen. She let someone compliment her and support her. She let her guard down too quickly and it got her into this. She looks away, a longing in her chest fighting the heat in her throat. Her fingers intertwine together, fumbling around – giving her physical body something to do while she internally held a debate.

Lanie was right. Moving on was bound to happen. And she needed to tell someone what he did – tell anyone. He was convicted, yes, but for murder. Not for what she let happen. But she didn't let it happen.

A hand covers her forehead out of frustration. Many things had happened in Kate Beckett's life, but nothing was as irritating as this battle that was happening for months now. A battle that was interfering with her need for closeness, for a friend, and her need to feel safe.

* * *

_Next chapter will explain most of what I believe you are all wondering about.  
_


	6. Chapter 6

_Music fills everything - the room, the walls. "Watch me move" echoes in the room, bouncing off of the open armoire with clothes hanging off of the door. Kate slides, in her socks, from the bathroom to the front of her bed. Singing loudly, she runs around her bedroom, playing with her clothes instead of putting them away. Her hips bounce with the beat on the radio, the sun streaming inside her room. Her hair falls out of her ponytail and around her face. _

She jolts awake, and with the shudder, feels her cast. Her hands grab the side of her bed and squeeze out of irritation. She scheduled the appointment. It was a shot in the distance, but it was there. These things would be off and she would be one step closer to normalcy. She rubs her eyes, a hand on her forehead, and sits up, bringing her good knee to her chest. She reaches for her phone, scrolling through her Facebook, and her left fingers scratching the top lining of her cast.

Looking at the clock, and throwing her phone to her bed, she realizes that he would be here in a couple of minutes. Instead of forcing herself to the bathroom, she'll just wait.

He's on time, hearing him bellowing through the kitchen, dropping bags.

"Hey, how are you?"

"Good, you?"

"Fine."

Their routine begins, and he carries her to the bathroom. Leaning against the outside wall of the bathroom, Castle makes small talk. They talk about the weather, about what they are going to do today. Nothing special planned, just a day in front of the TV.

"How did Alexis' presentation go?"

"Apparently it went well. She went out with friends that night, since it was a Friday, and I only got the beginnings of it. But she wasn't upset, so I think it went fine."

"That's good," she says, brushing her teeth.

"Yea. After what her group member did, I was getting a little worried for her."

The sink turns off, and he hears the towel rack squeak when she wipes her face. He hears the cast being dragged to the door, and on time, it opens.

"Ready?"

His arm tucks underneath her opposite shoulder and they walk to the kitchen.

* * *

"Hungry?"

"Yea. What did you buy? You got up early."

"Yes I did. I got us some stuff, I'm going to make brunch since we're inside all day."

Kate looks around to her window, the rain beating hard against it.

"Yea, I guess so. But that new movie just came out, we can rent it on the TV?"

"What new movie?"

"You know, the one with that guy…"

"For a detective, I've noticed that you never give good descriptions of movies. Or food. Or anything other than a person."

"Oh, you know the movie. It's the one that was all over the magazines."

"You read magazines?"

Kate motions to her leg.

"So you read magazines, _now_."

"No, I'm kidding. I love reading about the movies that are out. I just never get time to see them."

"Well, you can put whatever you want on. It doesn't matter to me."

Kate smiles, readjusting in her bar stool.

"So what are you making?"

"It's a surprise."

"Castle, I'm going to see you making it."

"I didn't say it was a very good surprise."

* * *

"I can't believe he did that. Just gave up everything and left."

The movie credits continue to scroll on the TV, Kate moving the plate from the couch to the table next to her.

"It's a rom-com, what did you expect to happen," Castle says.

"Well, I guess so. But, come on. Would you just get up and leave like that. Without a word. To travel across the world for a woman you met last week?"

"Maybe. It depends."

"With Alexis, and everything, you would leave."

"Kate, if the future love of your life walked through that door and said, 'I'm leaving for Australia right now let's go' you wouldn't go?"

"How would I know he's the love of my life?"

"You would just know, for the sake of this conversation."

"Well, I guess he would have to carry me, now, wouldn't he."

Castle smirks at her, standing up from the couch, grabbing their plates, and walking to the kitchen.

"He wasn't even that cute anyway?"

"Do I sense some shallowness from you?" Castle joked.

"Well, if I'm going to pick up and leave my entire life, he might as well be cute too."

"Well, if I'm going to have to carry you to your future lover's meeting place, he better have some money too. I'm not dumping you off with someone who lives with his mother."

"You live with your mother."

"Correction. My mother lives with me."

Kate smirks back at him, looking at his back while he washes their plates. She fumbles with her phone and sees a text from Lanie.

"Lanie wants to know if you made it through the movie okay."

"Does she not understand that I watch every kind of movie? I'm not turned off to stories just because they have a little sap to them. Also, I live with two women."

Kate texts her friend, who replies with a sarcastic statement about them being in a movie inside that apartment.

"She thinks we belong in a movie."

"That would be a very boring movie."

"Why, I think we're amusing?"

"Me, carrying you from your bed to the couch and back to your bed…"

"Well, at least we talk. You could have gotten stuck with a very boring person."

"True. And I'm very happy that you are compatible with me. Once, I had an elderly woman who just hated my sense of humor. We'd sit and watch her tapes of Wheel of Fortune from the 90's."

"That sounds awful."

Castle walks back to the sofa and slouches into it.

"Now what?" he asks.

"I don't know."

Silence sits with them, neither knowing what to talk about. In the past few months they had exhausted every subject.

"When does Alexis get home."

Castle picks up his phone and illuminates the screen.

"20 minutes ago."

"This early."

"The high schools are getting out two hours early today. She's home around one."

"Have you been seeing a lot of her?"

"No. And she's letting me know that."

"I'm sorry."  
"It's not you," he reassures her, "she knows that I have to be here."

"How did you get stuck with this anyway?"

"My book –"

"No, I know it did badly. But how did you get stuck with this community service job. I mean your face isn't on anything. It's inside this apartment."

"Well, don't ever get into an argument with your agent. She will make you do things that cross her desk and seem like hell."

"Surely you could have backed out."

"I was going to. I was planning on quitting the day I got you. But someone called out and they really needed me, so I said okay until they found a replacement."

"They haven't found a replacement in four months?"

"No. They did."

Kate's face flushes with a smile, but her head bows, bringing back the silence.

"Invite her for dinner."

"Alexis? Are we having _dinner_?"

"I think it would be nice. She'd get to see you and it would be fun."

"Okay. What am I making?"

"Now, that is still up to you," Kate responds, smiling.

* * *

"And then he walked into the door - at the end of the presentation - he just walked straight into it. But everyone laughed and it was okay," Alexis says.

"What was your presentation about?"

"The effects of climate change on the Amazon and what people can do to change it."

"What can I do?" Kate asked, eating her spaghetti.

"I don't know, my part was what the Amazon looked like before the temperature change."

"Alexis, you didn't know that part of your assignment? What if someone choked?"

"Dad, it's okay. I would have read his notecards."

"For someone who is so studious, I am shocked," Castle teased.

Kate smiled, putting more cheese on her pasta.

"What did you two do today."

"Watched a movie."

"Like always," Alexis adds.

Kate nods, "It was that one on the magazine."

Alexis looks to her dad.

"I told you. She has the worst descriptions."

"I do not."

Alexis laughs, "What movie?"

"I forget the title, but two people are forced together and end up falling in love in a week."

"Spoiler alert!" Caste yells.

"Was she going to watch it? It wasn't that good!" Kate replies.

"Even the bad endings are worth saving!"

Kate rolls her eyes. "Anyway, it wasn't that great."

They finish their dinner and stay around the counter, laughing and talking.

"Alexis, we can leave soon, but I need to finish the dishes and get her into bed."

"I'm five years old," Kate adds.

"It's fine, Dad. I can wait."

Alexis picks up the used dishes and puts them in the sink.

"You don't need to help me if you don't want. You can sit in the living room and watch TV or do your homework."

"No, it's okay. I don't mind. I can do this if you want to help Kate."

"Okay. But, I will put the food away. I'll help some," Castle says, kissing the top of Alexis' head.

After the food was put into Tupperware, Castle looks to Kate to see if she's ready to be picked up. She smiles, and his arm comes around her side, lifting her off the chair.

They walk down the hallway, slowly, focusing on her moving her leg.

"Look at you. A week ago you couldn't move it at all. Now, you're walking."

"I'm hardly walking. All my weight is on you."  
"But you're kind of walking. It's a step forward. Get it. _Step_. Forward."

Kate smiles, but rolls her eyes.

He puts her in her closet, not getting the clothes for her because she's more mobile than the previous month.

"I had fun tonight," he says, leaning against the wall.

"I did too," Kate's voice muffled behind the door.

"And I think Alexis liked it, being with someone else besides my mother for dinner."

"Oh! We forgot about your mother!"

"Don't worry. She would take this night alone as an excuse to go to her friends' house. Hopefully she would go there and they wouldn't come to the loft. They tend to make a mess."

"On a Monday?"

"It's always Friday when mother has her friends over."

Kate giggles, opening the door to her closet.

His hands go around her waist -

" – wait. Here. Take my hand."

Castle puts his hands in hers, but when he sees what she is going to attempt, he puts his other hand underneath her arm.

She looks to him, asking for permission.

"I think you can do it," he answers, smiling.

Kate puts weight on her casted leg, shifts it to her other leg, and lifts her injured foot. Placing it in front of her, she hobbles forward, with the help of his hands.

She repeats her steps until she's at the bathroom, the door open.

"Look at that."

She smiles, entering the bathroom and shutting the door. When she's finished, they try to walk again.

"Look! Before you know it you will be walking on your own!"

Kate smiles, focusing on bringing her leg in front of her.

When she reaches her bed, she sits down, pulling her leg up to the bed.

"Well, Kate Beckett, I had a lovely evening, but I have a lady in your living room who might need a ride home."

She smiles, says her goodnights, and waits until she hears the door shut.

Proudly looking at her leg, she's illuminating with the idea of walking. Getting to the bathroom in under 15 seconds. Getting to the kitchen in under a minute.

But her smile soon fades. Because with walking means independence. When her cast comes off, so does her need for an aide.

Rubbing the rough edges of the cast, she thinks about the man who had just left her apartment. How he chose to spend these days with her. Help her out.

How he didn't do this with just everyone. And how hard it was to let herself accept that she was happy.

The day was far in the distance – the day where she would get to see her leg without a giant cast – and her arm. But the further it seemed to be, the faster it seemed to be coming.

* * *

_I know this is VERY late. I have another writing job - with television reviewing - for tvovermindDOTcom. I will be reviewing Bates Motel. And the more I push these updates off, the more I feel bad about it. My semester ends soon, though, and hopefully I will have more chapters up!  
_

_I rarely have time to look at something on a computer, BUT I love reviews! I love to see what you think! However, if you want a response/answer I will always answer you on my twitter ( meggh11). If you don't have one, I will try to answer you on here. _

_Thanks for everything. I love each and every one of you for reading! This was hopefully a cute filler chapter. I have plans for the next few!_


	7. Chapter 7

_(trigger warning towards the end)_

* * *

Kate squeezes her eyes shut. Holding Castle's hand, she tightens her grip each time she feels the jolting of the saw. Her leg feels it. It tickles when it touches her skin. Kate knows it won't hurt her, but the noise and the concept of a saw cutting through her cast are worrisome.

Walking into the doctor's office was a fight between her need for help and her pride to walk. _Walking to the bathroom is different from walking into a building_ – Castle's words sat with her. A few moments ago his hand was around her waist bringing her from chair to office to chair again. Now, within a few moments, the cast will be off. She can feel her thigh, her knee – all the way down to her foot. She can paint her nails, wear sandals and shorts – walk around the house without another person holding her.

"Alright, you can open."

Castle feels the grip on his hand loosen and sees Kate try to sit up. Her arm wasn't free yet, so she was still weighted to the right side. Her eyes still are not open – her left fingers pushing the hair away from her face.

"Kate, you can open your eyes." Castle encourages.

Leaning her weight into his arms and up from the slanted chair, Kate relaxes her eyelids and looks. She finds to her leg. Her bare, pale – _smelly_ – leg. She sees the marks from where her surgery was. The stitches had come out while she was at the hospital and now all that remained were the lines across her calf and her thigh. She looks at it. Sitting below her body. Lying on the chair with nothing more than a foul smell and a withered look.

"You might be feeling some discomfort as you learn to use it again. I know you know how to use your leg, but your muscles might not understand what you are trying to do. So let them readjust to walking by taking it slow. The stitches are out, but the cuts are still healing so we will have bandages on them for a while, but you can take them off to shower and to soak your leg and arm."

The doctor puts down the saw, takes off his gloves, and puts new ones over his hands.

He begins to feel up and down Kate's leg, asking her if she feels it and if it hurts. Nothing did.

"And you don't feel anything unusual?"

"No. I feel fine." Kate says, a mix between confusion and relief.

"The scabs should fade. You may have some scarring, but we can talk about that later."

Kate looks to Castle, his face fixated on her leg.

"What's the matter, Castle?" Kate plays, rubbing his arm.

He snaps back to her, looking at her eyes.

"No – nothing. I'm fine. Are you good? Fine?"

"Yea. One more cast to go."

Castle watches her talk to the doctor about what to do with her leg and how to take care of it for the next few weeks – things he already understands. He looks back to her leg. A patient's reveal has never hit him hard – it had never hit him at all. Her scars will not heal; he knows that. The scabs show deep, intrusive surgeries. Her leg hadn't shattered, but it wasn't a clean break either.

Someone had the tenacity to push this woman into a wall, with a car, breaking her leg like this. He doesn't know the story. She won't tell him, but Castle gets the idea that this was bad.

"Okay, shall we move on to your arm?"

Kate smiles, closes her eyes, and reaches for Castle's hand.

* * *

"Kate, please. Can you just take the crutch with you?"

"Castle, it has been a few days. I don't think I need it."

He rolls his eyes. She still needs his help to get from room to room, but simple tasks, like getting from the kitchen island to the sink or from the bed to the bathroom, she can do on her own. She insisted.

Kate walks slowly, moving slower than she had before. Making her way from the kitchen to the sofa was more than she had done. And it was tedious – her leg was sore from using the muscles – but she didn't let him see that. Focusing on the weight going into her thigh down to her calf and into her toes, she took one step very thoughtfully until she reached the next. Her hands by her side, one slightly out for balance, she looks at her leg working. Her eyes focus until she feels a presence behind her. Turning her head slightly, as to not throw off the balance she had gained, she looks to Castle.

"Really, you don't need to stand behind me either. It's a handful of steps to the couch."

"If you fall you're going to be happy that I am behind you."

"But you don't have to be. I'll be fine. I'm just getting to the – "

Kate grabs his hand next to her as a searing pain rushes to her toes. Her eyes squint, and her teeth grind, reacting to the unexpected serge.

"See, and I was here."

"That only happened because you were getting me all excited."

"I can do that? I will keep that in mind."

His hand slides around her waist, in its usual place, and swiftly moves her the last bit.

"No, it was your ability to get me so annoyed with your pestering."

"My pestering saved you from falling just seconds ago."

"Your _pestering_ is what caused me to almost fall in the first place."

Castle rolls his eyes and walks back to the kitchen. He hands a plate of food to Kate, after she stretches her leg to the coffee table, and takes his place – but next to her. His right leg almost touching her left thigh causes her to jump. The heat bouncing from his body to hers - her eyes look between them, judging the small space that she had left.

"So, what are we watching?" he says, smiling and picking up his fork.

After the news had ended and primetime television had begun, she handed him her plate and settled back into the couch. She moved deeper into it, but still could not find a good spot. Kate reaches her right arm to scratch her knee, but gets a look to stop.

"Kate, you know you shouldn't scratch."

Kate glares at him and continues to scratch the incredibly dry skin on her leg.

"I'm just saying, it's better if you don't."

Castle returns to the show – not completely paying attention to what was happening on screen – but feels every move that Kate makes.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea," she says, "…my leg just hurts."

"A bad hurt?"

"No, more of a 'tired of being straight' hurt."

Castle sits up, putting both feet on the floor. He takes his right hand and puts it behind her back. Kate jumps. Feeling his palm across the arch of her back, causing her to sit up. She watches, unsure of what he was doing, as his hands run down from her knee to her toes. His hand leaves her back, after pushing it forward, and rests under her kneecap. His fingers begin to guide her knee while it bends – his other hand resting on the base of her leg. His left fingers wrap around the curve of her shin, and his right hand sits between her thigh and her calf as it closes.

Kate closes her eyes, letting him bend her leg. It's sore, but something more is happening. She can't deny the attraction – helping her bend her leg that was straight for almost four months - the gratifying sense of having both feet on the floor. But a rush of frustration filled her face. She wanted him to be hers. She needed him for more than to just walk again. But her defense was up. She didn't need him. If she needed him then there's a chance that he won't need her anymore. Or that he wouldn't stop. And she will fall into that new, hidden place that she didn't know existed until she felt powerless. The frozen look on her face that suddenly paralyzes her entire body when she doesn't know how to stop someone. The frustration of being a homicide cop yet having the ability to be scared enough to let someone over power her. To let someone completely shut off her entire being. To change her.

Her eyes open, and he is rubbing her knee – massaging it while it gets use to being in a different form.

"Does this hurt?"

Kate looks to him, his eyes completely concerned with her sources of pain.

"No, it's just sore."

"Okay," he stands, releasing her leg, "I will get you some ice and then maybe you can soak it before you go to bed?"

Kate shakes her head – agreeing with the idea of soaking her confused knee in a warm bath. She had done it before, per doctor's and Castle's instructions.

He reappears with the ice and puts the towel over the bag. Gently holding it on her knee, his other hand rests on her thigh.

Part of Kate wants him to stop. Needs him to listen to her silent scream that needs him to give her a second. But he doesn't hear it because he can't hear it. It's a voice in her head that is telling her that all of this is dangerous. A voice that is reminding her of what happened the last time someone touched her thigh. The last time someone caused her to fluster and confuse her.

Castle wasn't confusing her. He was nice and sweet. He has been crucial to her recovery, but the memory of the sensation of panic still rested inside her mind.

"Okay, I have to go, but do you have everything? Can you make it to the bathroom?"

Kate pushed herself against the headboard of the bed and looked into the bathroom. Castle was emptying the little tub where she can fit her leg into without having to get into the bath.

"I should be fine. Are you coming tomorrow?"

"Yea. I am. But I think we're going to try to go out tomorrow. Let me take you to dinner?"

He was still dumping the water into the tub, not looking at her stunned expression.

"Uh – yea. Sure?"

"Okay. I think it's a good idea for you to walk around. Get used to walking. You will still have your crutches and me. But after walking to the bedroom tonight, I think I want you to get out of this room."

"But you followed me to the couch earlier?" she says, swallowing the heat in her throat.

"Yes, but I think if I come over tomorrow and walk with you, you can be ready to at least get to the pizza shop down the block."

Kate knew that he was simply keeping her physical recovery in mind. He wasn't trying to send her into a complete panic that she kept hiding.

* * *

"Okay, slowly put your let into the hole," Lanie says, watching Kate pick up her leg and put it into the scrunched jeans in her hand.

Lanie expands the jeans when the bandaged parts of her leg passes into the jeans.

"Okay, just slower now. Put your hands on my shoulders and try to stand."

Kate hobbles to her left foot and Lanie guides the jeans up her thigh and over her waist. Kate takes over, pulling them closer to her waist and buttons the pants.

"Thanks. The t-shirt should be fine."

"But I will help you with the jacket."

Kate rolls her eyes, but Lanie is right. She has bandages on her arm as well.

After they get the jacket over her arm, Kate looks in the mirror. Standing before her was a woman in jeans and a shirt that wasn't sporting an old college fundraiser or her high school soccer team. Her jeans were tight enough to give her body a defining image, but still lose enough to allow her to be comfortable.

Lanie holds out a purse, and Kate pairs it with her outfit. She was able to do her makeup with both hands, instead of one and Castle holding a mirror to her face.

Kate looks to the clock.

4:30.

He would be here in half an hour. She had called him earlier and asked him to come over later. It was a Friday and Lanie was spending the day with her. She could help her get ready.

"Where is he taking you?"

"To the pizza place down the road."

"So you're going on a date."

"No, Lanie. He wants to go somewhere else besides my sofa for dinner. And he wants me to learn how to walk normally – "

" – Speaking of walking. Girl, let me see you walk to the bathroom."

Kate proudly walks, slowly, from the base of her bed to the bathroom a few feet in front of her.

"Oh – look at you! Walking by yourself."

"It's about time."

"Well, I think it's awesome. You will be back at work in no time."

Kate blocks the image of her walking through the precinct from her head. The pleasure of having something definite to do during the day was too much to think about.

* * *

"So what do you want to do now? Walk the park. Run a marathon."

Kate laughs and takes a sip of her soda.

"Well now that you're mobile," he explains.

"I wouldn't say mobile. I still have this crutch and your arm to get everywhere."

"And that crutch and my arm are glad to do it."

Kate plays with the salad with her fork, looking for something else to talk about.

"Are you finished? We can get dessert."

"Oh, no. I'm fine. I'm full – between this and the pizza."

"Then I'll pay the bill."

Kate watches as he stands in line – one person in front of him – check in hand.

Castle walks forward when it's his turn. Kate watches his out of range conversation as he hands over his card and the bill, pays it, and tips the waiter who was behind the counter. He walks over, putting his wallet back in his pocket, his hair slightly falling from its place.

"Are you ready?"

Kate shakes her head, puts down her fork, and grabs her purse. Before he can pick her up, she puts it on the table and makes sure her phone is in it before they leave.

His hands fit around her waist, picking her up as she stumbles lightly to her feet. She laughs as he jumps backward to allow her to find her base, and their faces meet. His eyes staring into hers – a rush of anticipation in her stomach and muscles in her chest tighten. But Kate forces the thought away, making sure that it won't come back. She breaks her glance and finds her hand on the table to balance herself for the crutch.

Giving her more freedom, Castle keeps his hand around her waist, but allows her to walk on her own. They slowly make their way out of the shop, people looking as they do, and find themselves on the street.

"Shall we head back?" he asks.

"I guess. By the time we get there it will be dark anyway."

"Do you feel up to walking? I can always get a cab."

"To go one block? I wouldn't let you," Kate responds.

"It's okay. I don't want you to hurt yourself."

Kate shakes her head. She was exhausted, but getting a cab for one block seemed absurd, especially when they made it here on time.

"Are you sure?"

Kate smiles, looking to his face, "Yes, I'm sure. I even have my sneakers on."

She taps the edge of her shoe with her crutch to show him.

* * *

By the time they make it back to the apartment it is dark. And Kate is about to fall asleep. Her eyes were drifting from exhaustion as they sat in the elevator. Leaning against the wall, Kate wished she would just wake up in her bed tomorrow morning, forgetting the walk to her door.

"Do you want to go to bed?"

"We can sit on the couch for a moment."

Kate just wanted to sit. She could have gone to sleep on the kitchen island if it was up to her, but the bed was too far away. She needed a moment to not feel the muscles in her entire body.

They sit on the couch, Kate sprawled out on one and Castle on the adjacent sofa.

"Kate, I had a good time tonight."

She shakes her head, avoiding the inevitable follow-up question.

"Sooner or later I can pick you up in a car. And you can walk down the stairs on your own. Like a real – "

He stops his words. Silence befalls, sitting around them.

"Kate, I was wondering. Maybe. When you're better. Or not. When you feel like it – maybe, we can… go out - on a real date?"

Yes. _Yes. _

"I'd – I'd love – I mean, I want to. I really really do. But, not now? I just – "

Kate stumbles over her words.

"No, I get it. It was stupid of me to ask."

"Castle – no, it's not. I mean – " Kate sits up, slowly bending her leg to put her feet on the ground.

"I just. There's a lot to tell – but I don't - I want to go out with you. I wish you knew how much I do."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Castle – I. Things happened and I'm not ready. I just – Dammit why is this_ so_ hard."

Tears are hiding in her eyes. Threatening to fall down her face, but she doesn't want to. She doesn't want that vulnerability to add to the conversation.

"There's more to the accident than I told you."

"Kate, what happened? You can tell me. After these few months, you know you can."

"I know. And I was going to but then you started – you became. You were more than just the aide that came to my house . . . and that scares me, Castle. I don't want – I mean I do. But I don't want to feel this way."

He stares at her, confused about what she is referring to.

"No you. _God_ not you," she breathes.

Kate rubs her hands on her jeans trying to find a way to make this make sense to him. She closes her eyes – tears fall down her cheeks as she pictures the hands on her legs. The weight on her body and the smell of sweat filling her nose.

"The person who crashed into me crashed into me because he knew who I was."

Castle slides closer – her eyes still closed – as he tries to see why this is so hard for her.

"This person crashed into me because he wanted to kill me. Because he wanted the walking reminder of his failure to leave this world – and I was doing just that. Reminding him of how he had failed. Of how his power had run out because I broke free –"

"Kate, what do you mean – "

"Just let me, please."

Kate's eyes focused somewhere in the distance, trying to not make eye contact with him.

"He was a friend of the precinct, someone who came up and delivered flowers and candies to those who received them. He wasn't old, around forty."

Kate's eyes close again, tears streaming down and a nauseated lump fills her throat.

"But he would come visit the precinct late at night when he was done his shift. And I was normally the last one there, making sure the case was wrapped up or following a lead before I went home. He started talking to me – but our talking turned weird, unusual – but it was subtle. I didn't notice it and I should have because I am a detective. I notice things but not this."

"Kate, it's not your – "

"No, it is my fault, Castle!"

Kate looks to him, her legs shifting on the floor.

"It is my fault that I let him talk to me alone in the precinct. It is my fault that he thought that I wanted to talk to him and that I was interested in him. It's my fault that I let him follow me to my car instead of waiting for Lanie. It's my fault that I let him talk me to leaning against the car. It's my fault that I was too afraid to say no when his hands ran up the side of my leg."

Tears fell into her hands, her fingers across her face. The lump turning into burning inside her, a reminder of the nights where it was always present.

"It was my fault that I didn't report him that night. It was my fault that I let him do it again and again because I didn't know how to stop it," - her hands emphasizing as she speaks, - "It was my fault that his words could manipulate me so much that I let him do it over and over. And then when I finally turned him down he demanded to know why. Screamed to know why. It was my fault that he was so upset that he followed me onto the road at night. And the next. And then finally I was too much for him and he pinned me against the wall with his car – breaking my leg and my arm."

Castle stares at the woman in front of him, her face somewhere else. Picturing it. Seeing the nights over and over.

"It's funny because he never did anything that is worth reporting. Besides running his hand up my leg. But he made me feel so uncomfortable that I froze. I couldn't stop him from saying things to me. Over and over. Things that I can never repeat."

"But Kate – "

"No, Castle! No."

He wants to sit next to her, but he doesn't want to touch her.

"It is my fault. And it will always be my fault. And that's why I can't go to dinner with you because I can't go to dinner until it isn't my fault anymore."

* * *

_Thanks for sticking with me as I ended my semester. __Updates should be sooner.  
_

_Thoughts?_


	8. Chapter 8

Castle puts his back to her door. Leans against it, covering his face, his eyes closed - starts to slide to the floor. His shirt bushes against the crease and slides up in the back as he leans into his knees.

He didn't want this. He didn't want any of it. He doesn't want it. Asking her out, it felt right. Wanting to continue this – or was it the thought of having to end it. The fact that in a few weeks he would no longer be needed and that new urge to be wanted, to be important to someone else – he wanted it. But she was nice, and beautiful, and he liked her. They talked. A lot. And he wanted it to continue. And when she came down stairs looking like she did - with her casts off and jeans on. She looked prettier than he expected. She was already gorgeous sitting on her couch, but when she felt good – when she felt good about herself -

But then he didn't expect it. For her story. This strong woman telling him how she let her guard down and that wall wasn't there. How she let something happen to her. How she knew when to say no, but it was confusing. Everything was confusing.

And all at once he wanted to hug her, run away, punch someone, and stop everything.

He rubs his hands over his face, putting the thoughts together in his head – he turns his head back to the door behind him, looking at it. Thinking about the woman who he left on the couch

She had told him to go. She felt the atmosphere. She saw it change and it was easier to deal with alone – he knew that. He felt it too.

But he wanted to go back in there, compose himself, put her in her bed, help her get her things – like he had done every night for the past months. Like they had done.

But she didn't want to be touched, he thought. She didn't want him there.

Kate sits on her couch, looking at the table in front of her, but not seeing it. She's seeing the memories in her head and becoming embarrassed. This is not who she is. She's a detective. Things don't get to her, especially men who she can't put in their place. She says no, it means no. But he was nice – and didn't think of her like that. He never did. He was older - a friend. And she was confused. She was alone.  
Kate let the tears slowly fall. She didn't have the energy to control them. Her hands rested in her lap. She remained motionless, on a couch, with no means of leaving it.

Her door opened, and a man stepped in. Blinking towards him, her stoic face remained, but her body relaxed. She let him lift her to her feet. She let him walk her to her room. She let him put blankets on her. She saw as he put a cup of water next to her, brushed hair away from her face. She watched as he stared at her, for just a second, but their eyes never met. Her eyes stay in a fixated glance ahead.

Castle left her room, leaving her there. He found the space where he sat on her couch, the crease of his body still in it. He was here with her, happy, just moments ago. He sat in his spot, turned the muted TV off, and fell asleep.

* * *

Kate wakes with a headache. Her eyes, sore. Her hair is a mess. She remembers, slowly, what had happened. Realizing the information that now sat with the man who she befriended all this time.

She puts her hand to her face, annoyed. She didn't need to tell him. This one event – this one stretched event – made her life fumble. Made her life that she thought she knew – the personality that she once had – jumble together. When it shouldn't have. Looking back on it, if it was someone else, she would have said they were crazy. Leave the man. Leave him be. Who cares how it makes him feel. It's you, as a person, that matters. But that's someone else. This was her. She gets both sides: the logic and the emotion.

Kate looks around her room, feels her weak foot beneath the sheets, and brushes hair from her face. She sees herself, not from a distance, but from inside. Depressed. Irritable. But, sometimes happy. Happy when she's with him. But scared. Frustrated.

Castle hears a thud from Kate's room. Quickly, he stands and walks to the door that's creaked open. He sees her sitting on her bed, looking down. She's looking at her feet, caressing the spot below her knee – feeling the bone. Feeling her leg. Her other hand brushes hair behind her ear.

Castle knocks on the door.

Kate smiles, allowing him to enter.

"What was that noise?"

Kate looks to him, "I – I don't –" she puts her hand on the nightstand, " – this moved. When I leaned on it."

Castle shakes his head.

"Ready to stand?"

Kate shakes her head no. She slides further on the bed, and bends her knees when she reaches the mattress.

He sits next to her, without her saying, and listens. It's silent.

"Hey, Castle."

"Yeah?"

"Can – can we just not talk about it."

"We can do whatever you want, Kate. You can talk – you can _not_ talk – or we can eat breakfast."

She smiles, looks to his face.

She wants to be able to just sit here, hug him - let him comfort her. But she can't. She can't let him hug her because she might think of something that will make her want to forget who she is.

"Just, don't think you need to feel bad, okay?"

"Kate, I will never feel bad about you. There's nothing bad about you."

She continues to smile, and without talking, they lift her up.

"Okay. Okay, I have this."

She changes the mood, forcefully.

"Where do you want to go?"

"The bathroom. And I can do it."

"You're leg is weak – "

"It can do it, trust me."

Kate moves her foot. She's hesitant – she doesn't want it to hurt – but places the bottom of her foot on the ground. She unwraps her arm from his, leaves his grasp, and puts her other foot in front of the other. Walking.

She repeats the steps until she is at the bathroom. Kate turns her head, sees the smile on Castle's face, and mimics it. She grabs the door frame to her bathroom, turns her body, and looks to him.

"I walked to the bathroom!"

"And I wasn't even beside you. And you made it. Look at that." he says.

He is proud. Watching her walk. Meeting her – seeing how unable to move she was – and now watching her feet move to the bathroom.

He sits back on the bed after standing to help her. Waits for her to finish in the bathroom.

In a few weeks she wouldn't need him. She would be able to walk and get back to her old life. Kate would go back to work. He would release an interview to a paper and his book sales would turn around. He would go home and write another book – one with a little less controversial ending. Things would continue.

He had no idea what kind of series he was going to start. It wasn't something that he is about. With his other patients that was all he thought of – how to write, how to make this into a better story than sitting on some old person's couch.

But when he was with Kate he thought about how to make her happy – about how to make her feel better. He thought about what she needed or what would entertain her. When she is bored or irritated he thought of anything to make her forget where she was for a while.

Kate returned, her hair up and her face washed. She smiled at him and asked him to help her to the kitchen.

"Right. Don't want to waste it all walking in the morning," he said.

* * *

"What do you want to do today?"

"You ask this everyday. I don't know. What do you want to do?" Kate responded, eating her cereal.

He had no idea. He was out of ideas. Everything he could think of was now going through a deeper thought.

What will hurt her – both physically and emotionally? What would make her feel out of place? What would make her feel awkward?

"I have an idea."

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you come to my place today?"

Kate stared at him. Confused.

"It has space to walk around. We have games, we have things to do – not that your place isn't great – but maybe a change of scenery?"

The arrived at his loft by the afternoon - Kate had changed and they had cleaned up the kitchen. By the time they walked downstairs, got a cab, and arrived, the day had begun to pass.

Castle helped her into the elevator, and she let him. When they arrived at their floor she was tired from standing, something that was usually found with these types of days, and he half carried her to the door. She still felt her feet moving below her, but the weight was significantly decreased.

* * *

_This will continue into the next chapter, but I don't have a lot of time to write so I decided to give you what I have so far!  
_

_Thanks for sticking with it. I mentioned in my other stories that I now have a few new writing jobs and I am all over the place - that's why the updates are taking forever. But, like some of you well know, I do answer questions that you might have! (tumblr - stillcatchingupDOTtumblrDOTcom - and twitter - meggh11). I know I sound like a broken record, but I see your reviews but I can't answer them from here! _

_Thank you, again.  
_

_ - Meg_


End file.
